Thursday 23 April 2015

Stalkers alert!

Stalking isn't really one of my best traits... I envy people who can efficiently stalk. How am I suppose to keep track of all my crushes if I don't stalk them? Especially since some of them either do not even know I exist, or they don't know I know they exist. Anytime I try stalking someone, not the creepy type though, just the normal checking up, googling, passing roads or going to places I think they could be, I end up making mistakes or totally unsuccessful... mtchew I guess I'll never make a good private investigator so I advised my self to focus my energy on something more important like Benue mangoes...oh yeah, Tis the season to eat mangoes.. falalalala la la la la
There's very little that's healthy, mind blowing, sweet, tasty, and as delicious compared to Benue mangoes and the best part is that it comes in different flavors and names... julie, dawcha (or whatever way it's being spelt) e.t.c you name it. I just can't stop feasting on them and I've been doing so solely for the past two days, been getting them free of course...God Bless Benue Mangoes....

Sunday 19 April 2015

Our President elect

My classes are usually fun, informative, and I usually feel as if I'm in a news room.
I'm doing a Professional Diploma in Education, and most times, all we talk about is what's going on in Nigeria.  For now it's all about our President elect...
One of my lecturers went into details about him and had this to say...
He started with the fact that he knew him a long time ago, and his hobby is horse riding, he's a non-alcoholic, has an healthy diet, has one wife despite the fact that Muslims  usually have more than one, and of course he's a man who usually stands by his word.
He also went on to talk about the things the president elect has set out to do, which includes; culminating corruption in Nigeria (I say a big AMEN to that), and he had asked whoever is owing government money to pay back before his swearing-in(which I heard some are already doing so), replace police checkpoints with patrolling officers (another big AMEN to that), review privatization of PHCN, create jobs, and let's not forget thorough investigation of NNPC. All these he hopes to achieve in four years, since he wants to rule for just one tenure...
Hmm... so many expectations and promises and I can't wait for May 29 cos it seems this country is going to become more exciting.
P.S I don't think I can say all of the above is true, was just quoting what my lecturer said and if course what an old man sees standing... 

Tuesday 14 April 2015

Car accident and me...

I got hit by a car today... first time that's ever happened to me. I woke up this morning thinking if I should go back to Benue to continue a programme I started or I should just stay home, get a job pending when I would go for my MSc., I also taught about making a new hair style and couldn't decide on what to make (so much indecisiveness today).  Well, after morning  devotion, I decided to lose the old hair-do, took my bath and embarked on a 'journey' to the bank. I got down from the keke I'd boarded, and decided to cross to the bank across the road and the next thing I heard was gbam!...
Next thing I knew I woke up few hours later and I'm looking into the cutest eyes and face ever.
'Hi' he said, 'My name's Usman and you're in my palace, I'm sorry you got hit by my car, and the doctor that examined you said you're okay, but I was a bit worried since you were not waking up. Thank goodness! you're awake now'.
I just stared at him, then I heard someone come in from the door.
'Oh, here's your masseuse' Usman said.  I hope you have a great massage, I'm going to try to contact your parents, out any member of your family'
'How... ' I started, but he'd already gone out.
I got the best massage ever, and after that Usman said it was time to go home, he drove me home in his limo, stayed a little bit in my house and talked with my parents, apologising profusely for what happened. Oh my! I think I've just met my soul mate!  He even left a note in my purse saying, I'd like to set my eyes on your lovely face again if you don't mind..  
P.S Everything you just read was made up... I  live a normal life and I'm not starring in a telenovella...
But I did get hit by a car though, on my way to the bank, but no injuries, or charming prince. Just a scratch and a guilty driver who apologized since he was driving on the wrong lane. Then I went to the bank and stood on a long queue for hours... Thank you Jesus I didn't die today.... 

Sunday 12 April 2015

Growing up

When I was younger, I had nothing to worry about. Oh, I meant apart from the less important stuffs like, what am I going to wear to school, what I feel like eating, what hair style am I going to make, people I had crushes on and the like. I didn't bother about making decisions for myself about life,  I'd always had advisors for that, or people who made decisions for me which are my parents of course. But now, all of a sudden I'm an adult, done with school, and literally on my own. Only thing that's the same is that I still live with my parents, but aside from that, OYO, no one cares if I've eaten (lol,  they would just say 'who you help if you don't eat') I have to decide on so many stuffs like what I want to do with my life, what next step I have to take, and of course the blame for the bad decisions. Oh, I forgot about the part where I now have to give advice and assistance to my younger ones... Growing up isn't really all that fun... My advice, don't grow up, remain a baby where the only thing required from you is to answer 'fine' when asked 'how are you', or reply 'yes' to everything an adult asks. But, would that not be a curse?  staying young forever.... oh well...
Thank you God for what I am today though cause I'm in the best position I can ever be. 

Friday 10 April 2015


Oh! The things we do when we're addicted... addiction consumes us. I'm addicted to biscuits, I'm not proud of it, especially since its the cheap ones I just can't do without. All types of biscuits, you name it, and I've eaten it all, or tasted it, or have been addicted to it at a certain time. Eating biscuits once landed me in the hospital, but did I learn my lesson?  Nah...
A friend of mine once called it my 'fix', well I guess that describes it a little cos if I go about two days without eating biscuits I def would not be alright. I'm always on edge, get angry easily, and I'm easily irritated. Thank God it's the cheap ones I'm addicted to and just 20 naira could solve it...
Last night, the craving started and I had to go out under the rain, in the muddy and irritating water just to get some. I wonder if that's how it is for those who are cocaine, cigarettes or alcohol addicts, but whatever it is, my advice for you to get over your addiction esp if it's the expensive kind, is to take up something less expensive and less harmful to your health, or better still get a whole bunch of it, knock yourself out and wake up hating it, maybe.... 

Thursday 9 April 2015

Chapter two contd

'Where's my headtie ooo'. Mrs Smith wailed. The whole house was filled up with people at every corner. She checked the bed again. This was where she had kept it and she was sure of that.
'Did you see my pink headtie?' She grabbed the girl passing by her.
'It's with the makeup artist and she's waiting to tie it for you ma'
'So they could not tell me abi'. She hissed as she crossed to the other room where her daughter was dressing up.
'Well done ooo, my children'.
Choruses of 'thank you ma' accompanied her greeting.
'I hope they've given you people food o, why is this room hot?  ehn?, young lady put in the A.C' She beckoned to one of the makeup artist's assistants.
'You people want my bride to be sweating on her own day abi'
'Mummy, the room is not that hot now', Dora replied.
'How will you feel it when all your mind is on your husband, have you eaten sef? and why is this tv on? '
'Mummy,  I'm okay jor, I ate small rice an hour ago, and the tv is not disturbing....' Dora stopped suddenly with her eyes transfixed on the tv.
Her mum turned to look at what had caught her daughter's attention and heard a scream behind her.  She turned back and saw her Dora on the floor unconscious with the makeup artist trying to fan her.
'Dora!!!, my baby!'. She rushed to her. 'Someone please get me water o, and give her space'.

Tuesday 7 April 2015

That Great Day

That great Day is coming
That great Day is coming
All men shall stand before the throne of God and give account of themselves...
There was a time where I couldn't sing this song without that little voice inside my head making me feel guilty.  But thank God I can now.  How many of us can?
We've grown so lax about that great day which we all know is coming.
A pastor once said Christians are the best actors and actresses ever.  They live their life like unbelievers throughout the week and on Sunday you see the churchy side of them, speaking in tongues and kabashing like they were not the same people who were misbehaving throughout the week.
I think one of the major reason why Christians are like this is the kind of things they hear in church. It's usually prosperity, how God blesses you when you give, good success e.t.c. gone are those days where people go to church and weep during messages. What happened to those days where people are so full of God's presence and even when they get home after service they just remain in that state of total submission and reverence for God. Today, immediately we step out of church, we resume our normal lifestyle of lying, gossiping, malice, back biting etc.
Let's just have it at the back of our minds that that great Day is coming where we'll all give account of ourselves and no one would intercede for us, not our pastor, parents, spouse or even Jesus...

Monday 6 April 2015


when I started farming in Benue during my service year, lots of people didn't believe I would know what to do with a cutlass out even an hoe.  But I proved them wrong and I planted sweet potatoes, harvested, ate and sent some home.  Where did that strength or morale come from?  they all ended up asking. well it came from my dad.
I'm from a home where we're all girls and who do you think takes care of the backyard? And that's what happened this morning.  Immediately after morning devotion, daddy pleaded with us to go clear the empty piece of land next to our house. Well, I had fun a bit, but it wasn't easy and my palms still hurts...
Had a praise night in church this evening, hmm nothing like being in the presence of God and having FUN!!! Now I'm on my way back all pumped up, we decided to trek, no scratch that, stroll, no, not that, jog home....  and in jakpa junction singing 'Take me to church' at the top of my voice. Is this even a Christian song...jeez did that car just honk at me and it almost hit me.  Okay no more typing and walking on the road.

Saturday 4 April 2015


Weddings in Nigeria these days are boring. Urrgh!!! I'm sitting here feeling sleepy and I feel like punching this mc. mtchew.
Why can't someone just change this normal trend of:
-welcoming of guests
-high table guests
-chairman's speech
-couple's entrance
-blah blah and blah same old same old
It's infuriating!!!  and boring cos you already know what you're expecting before going for wedding reception.
I think it's a waste of time, I really appreciate that couple who did that dance entrance stuff which others tried to follow. At least it added something exciting. I think I'll do something different during my time, no need saying it now so no one copies it.
Another aspect of weddings are the kind of people you see... There's always;
1. A cute couple who dresses cute ( not the ones getting married]
2. A girl who dresses like a slut
3. Someone who wears the 'reigning' dress or material
4. A friend of either the bride/groom's sister whom she showers with food and drinks
5. A weird looking man who is either shabbily dressed or a drunk ( in this wedding he's sitting close to me which is kinda scary and I'm clutching my purse tightly)
Be it a rich or poor wedding these cannot be left out.
Yay! mummy just signaled me, we're about leaving... 

Friday 3 April 2015

Chapter two

Greg James  looked at the mirror one last time and adjusted his tie for the umpteenth time. He could not get over this feeling of dread washing over him. He had this feeling that he was losing something very precious. He sighed and picked up his jab jacket from the bed where it had been laid out by the maid. There's no time for feelings he couldn't place, especially on a day like this.  He was going to be made partner at the biggest pharmaceutical industry in the country and this would be done on national television. He smiled to himself and turned to mirror and said 'yeah, this is the face that's going to be on channels television, NTA, TVC, AIT,yeah you name it'.
Not bad, he thought again.  His face looked perfect and even the scar on his forehead couldn't change that.
He touched it and remembered how he'd gotten it three and half years ago in a car accident where he had lost his memory. Well, on the good side that was what had changed his life and he was a multi-billionaire about to be made partner.
He picked up his car keys and walked out of his suite with the feeling that he was about to lose something.  No way, I'm getting something, he thought to himself.

Thursday 2 April 2015

Good Friday

Jesus died on the cross
Saving me on the cross
Healing me on the cross
To redeem me...
Hallelujah He arose
To redeem me
My mum always sings this song on good Friday.
And happy good Friday people.
Let's all use today to think of what Christ did on the cross for us and give him thanks for it.
Going to church later this evening and we'll probably be watching that movie about Jesus' crucifixion which would make everyone cry.
I still don't get why people cry when watching movies, such movies are actually funny to me and I end up laughing while others are crying. Someone once said its because I'm not emotional, oh please, all I think about is how all those actors and actresses have eaten their money and how fake their acting usually is.
So my prayer today is...  Dear Lord, please help me not to lol while others are crying in church today, Amen. 

Wednesday 1 April 2015

Movies and Nightmares

The movies we watch during the day affects our dreams, and being a movie lover, my dreams most nights are usually adventurous. Like yesterday I watched 'into the woods' and last night I dreamt of a man who changed into a cat! This happened because he kissed a guy whose tradition forbade him from being gay and a curse was put on him that whoever he decides to practice it with would be transformed to an animal.  So here I am in this epic drama and we were all trying to figure out how to help out the guy/cat cos he turned out to be friend of mine. We had to do something urgently cos we all had to go for another friend's engagement party and of course we couldn't go with him or it? So while I was busy consoling and trying to be a good friend my alarm clock went off.
So here's the question...  Do I think that dream was relevant to something that would happen in real life?  Hell no! and that's the mistake we make sometimes, we watch an horror movie, end up having nightmares and then we wake up and start kabashing, oh dear! I wonder how God reacts to such prayers.  Probably with a ' That's what you get for watching an horror movie right before bed'.
I'm not saying dreams are not relevant or important cause they are. I'm just saying we should know the difference.

My novel

Dora opened her eyes slowly.  She'd been awake for some minutes. Yes, she thought to herself, today was the d-day.  So many preparations had been done, so many arrangements, and so many people had been invited, even a senator was going to be in attendance. She heard her stomach growl, reminding her she'd skipped dinner last night. Her mum had advised her to, to avoid 'running stomach' on the d-day. Dora turned and looked at Kevwe, her best friend lying next to her. They've been childhood friends and have been inseparable ever since.
Dora's stomach growled again.  She turned and reached for her handbag, opened it and brought out a candy bar. She knew she shouldn't, but she just couldn't resist.  It was her wedding for Pete's sake, she should be entitled to some luxury and not a growling stomach or this feeling of dread that was rising slowly. Her eyes were filling up with tears which she quickly wiped off as she heard Kevwe turn.
"Madam, is it not too early?"  Kevwe chided softly. "If you like tell me you're pressed during the ceremony, I won't assist you in loosening and re-tying your wrapper o"
When Dora did not respond, Kevwe sat up quickly and looked at Dora.
"Babe, what is it?"
"Nothing" Dora responded a bit too quickly.
"please don't tell me you're thinking of Dennis". Kevwe asked. "He's dead, please today is your traditional marriage stop stressing your self with thoughts like that".
"I know, but it's involuntary, he just pops up without me wanting him to. It's been three years but I still think of him and especially on a day like this. I'm supposed to be married to him". Dora said as the tears finally started pouring.
"sweetheart, it's okay na, I know he's your first love, but Emmanuel is a great guy and he loves you very much and he's rich sef, ehn". Kevwe comforted.
Dora smiled, dried her eyes and gave her friend a hug.
"Oya, it's okay, goan take your bath, it's almost time for your make up artist to come and start"
"Thanks dear, what would I do without you?" Dora replied.
" You'd have cried yourself to death by now, cry cry baby.  I hope you know you'll soon be a mother, you better do and stop all these your tears o"

April Fool's Day

Okay, results have been announced and we all know the winner, now can we please focus on something else apart from elections??
let's talk about April fool's day. A friend of mine just tricked me and I fell hook, line and sinker. I wasn't supposed to, and I'm not proud of it since it was the normal message of 'the owner of this phone is sick or in a coma'. But it was as if it was planned cos last night his profile messages were sad cos he was unhappy with the elections and getting a message this morning that he had an heart attack just sealed the deal.
So yeah, I was tricked and I fell, and I've made my excuses as to why I did. Besides I thought April Fool was in the past and no one thought about tricks anymore, but I guess I was wrong.
I wonder how April Fool came about? yeah hold on lemme google it... of course, reception is bad mtchew