Tuesday 25 August 2015

Things we do when we are shy

We are all guilty of this, whether we chose to admit it or not, or we just do not notice it… Whenever we are in the presence of people who are our superiors, or people who make us feel shy, have a crush on or people who generally make us feel uncomfortable, there are some things we do… Sometimes it’s even over the phone, especially for us ladies and here are some I’ve noticed.
1.     Avoiding eye contact
2.     Playing with your nails (I do this a lot)
3.     Playing with a nearby object (this could be something as odd as a stapler, piece of paper or even a leaf, for those who still play love under the mango tree)
4.     Playing with your footwear (I saw a guy do this recently)
5.     Playing with a button or any part of your clothes
6.     Smiling sheepishly
7.     Scratching your eyes
8.     Biting of lips
9.     Playing with or scratching your hair
10.                         Cracking your knuckles
What else have you noticed???

Friday 14 August 2015

My vow

Awwww....this man is so annoying and frustrating. I'm in class having a lecture, at least that's what I thought I came here for. What this lecturer is doing is telling us stories of cultists whose spirit travel out of their bodies while they were asleep... Abeg wetin concern agbero with overload???
Some lecturers don't actually know how to teach. They just come to class, mention topics you're supposed to go learn yourself, scare you with how tough their exam questions will be and tell irrelevant stories....
So I'm making a vow to myself....
When I become a lecturer, my students are going to love me (at least I'm hoping no one would blog in my class, like I'm doing now). I'm going to try to impact knowledge in them, not just to pass exams but to apply such knowledge in day-to-day life.  So future students, watch out for moi!!!

Tuesday 11 August 2015

Two things involved...

Everytime I’m about to embark on a long journey, I always think of two things before I board the vehicle…
It’s either there are any cute male passengers or not? If there are none, I am safe
If there is, there are two things involved…
Did I dress cute or not? If I did, I am safe
If I didn’t, there are two things involved…
Is there any other cute girl in the vehicle or not? If there is none, I am safe
If there is, there are two things involved…
Is she going to sit next to him or far from him? If she sits far from him, I am safe
If she sits close to him, there are two things involved…
Does the cute guy acknowledge her presence or not? If he doesn’t, I am safe
If he does, then there are two things involved…
Does she also acknowledge his presence or not? If she doesn’t, I am safe
If she does…well the journey loses all its excitement and I focus on assessing every other person in the vehicle or pay attention to my phone acting like I don’t care….

Friday 7 August 2015

Impolite responses

I hate it when people clearly don't want to give you assistance, help or positive response and when they finally do, they make you feel bad about it or make you know they never wanted to do it in the first place... And I wonder, why not just say 'NO' and get it over with!
Almost everyone does this in one situation or the other.
For example in class today, a student was received a phone call and I think he was told his attention was needed elsewhere. He stood up, walked to the lecturer and quietly and politely told him he had to leave... The lecturer was quiet for sometime... And then said... 'well, if you feel that's more important than this class, you can go'...like seriously???  Why make him feel bad about it?
In another situation, a lecturer came to teach when time for classes was already over and just as we were complaining of being tired, he said 'well it's not by force, you can go. I'll still teach even if it's just two students left'
This second instance isn't really about a 'yes or no response'....But I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I just hate impolite responses so so much.

Ummm....I just reread this post and I think it's a little confusing and probably makes no sense. I guess it's either because I'm tired since I just finished from class, or probably cos I'm so tired after overfeeding myself this morning....
Okay I'm going to stop typing now and post this  .... 

Wednesday 5 August 2015

How I was chased by a COW!!!

Whenever I come across a herd of cows along the way, I always get scared that one of them would turn and start chasing me...well that finally happened.
I had left class and was on my way to make a photocopy of an handout when i suddenly heard a loud shout and heavy footsteps thumping behind me. I turned and there was this huge cow running towards me...I immediately threw my books in all directions and started running for my dear life. My whole life flashed before my eyes, people around me were screaming. I couldn't hear what they were saying and all I could think of was...Is this the end...Oh my! I ran as I have never done in my life. I could hear the cow coming closer and closer and closer... Suddenly, I felt this piercing pain in my chest and realised I couldn't run any longer...I stopped, decided to say my last prayers as I heard the cow's footsteps getting even closer. I fell on my knees and then suddenly....
P.S...this is the part where if you're under 18 you have to stop reading....
Suddenly...the cow raced past me and continued running on its own. At first, I didn't really notice as I felt I was already dead. Until, someone tapped me, I looked up thinking its probably an angel and I'm about to face judgement. When I looked up, it was the Mallam who owned the cow.
"Why you dy run?" he asked me. I stood up and looked around at the people staring at me. That was when I realised the cow was actually running onits own and was being chased by its owners...Silly silly me! I thought to myself and did a walk of shame back to where I had flung my books, praying I find them.

Another Accident!!!

  When people talk about having an accident and they are like...'before I knew what was happening, I was on the ground or I found myself in the hospital', I used to think...'wow, so it happens that fast?'. Well I got my answer last night...it doesn't, at least that's not the way it happened to me.
I closed from church around 8 last night and the service was so wonderful that I found myself singing on top of the bike I boarded, I was so happy and blessed by the service and I knew nothing could steal my joy.
  During the closing prayer, the man handling the prayer asked us to pray for our journey back home from church. I remember praying that prayer with the mind of, 'its not like anything ever happens sef'. Well, I was wrong.
  When the bike I boarded got to my street, we had a collision with another bike coming towards us and before I knew it we were on the ground....nah scratch that, it happened slowly. I saw the other bike coming towards us leave his lane and crossed over to ours, I saw the collision, screamed 'Jesus' as we collided and fell to the floor. As soon as it happened, the two bike men immediately stood up and got into a heated argument about who was wrong or right. Seriously? I thought to myself, they didn't even thank God it wasn't worse or even check for injuries. Next thing I knew, they were about to start a fight. I didn't even know what they were saying since they were speaking their language. Next thing one of them started taking of his trousers! Umm...what's happening I thought to myself and I finally saw it was because he had sustained an injury on his knee. I wondered if I should just slip into the already forming crowd and go home which no one would obviously notice since they'd already forgotten about me. Just as I was about to do just that, someone came up to me and asked if I had any injuries. I looked up and it was my neighbour, I checked and that was when I  even noticed I had slight bruises and told him that it was nothing. That was when the others finally noticed my presence and told me to say what happened, which I did and made it sound as if no one was really at fault and that ended the heated argument and one of them asked me if I'd like to be taken to the hospital, I declined and said I was okay. My bikeman decided it was time to continue our journey, which we started but couldn't continue since his bike was damaged. I told him not to worry, that I'd walk the rest of the way home. He declined the money for the fare and I gladly walked back home singing....yeah nothing was gonna steal my joy.

In Sickness and Health

Sometimes we forget how good God actually is to us and take His blessings for granted. We feel things like a good night rest, good health, daily bread are norms and that's why sometimes He gives us a little reminder of how good He is to us. That's what happened to me this past week. I'd forgotten what it felt like to be sick, to have pains all over, having to take drugs daily, lack of appetite, wishing you could have strength to do the simple things like brushing your teeth without stress, cook and eat, the joy of closing your eyes and sleeping off immediately and waking up healthy and strong...so I got a little reminder.
   The last time I fell seriously ill, I think I was probably 9 or 10 and I don't even remember what it felt like. So, when I fell ill last week, all the memories came rushing back. At first I tried ignoring the pains and felt it would be nothing serious and would soon pass. but as the days passed, it became serious and before I knew it, I was at the hospital. At first, I was bitter about the whole stuff, I mean, why would God allow me "His favorite" to fall ill? I felt betrayed. Then I looked around while I was in the waiting room, waiting to see the doctor, I saw a man who was halfway gone...he couldn't move a muscle, couldn't even keep his eyes closed or open, he was just lying on the stretcher drooling. As if that wasn't enough I saw a group of people who were receiving lectures on living with HIV since they were all infected. There were sick people around me who couldn't even move on their own, had to be placed on a wheel chair, others didn't even have enough money to pay their bills and here I was complaining. I felt so bad, I was having slight malaria and typhoid which I could not remember the last time that happened to me and I was thinking I was in a bad condition. To make matters worse, when I was admitted for observation, I saw some others who were in far worse condition and I think someone even died before I was discharged later that evening...
I learnt a lesson that week, to be grateful because in whatever situation I find myself I'm better off and also, that position or situation is actually someone else's prayer point.... 

Saturday 4 July 2015

what has happened to education in Nigeria??? Pt1

The system of education in Nigeria today is sooo pathetic. The initial goal of education in Nigeria includes;
·        to develop an individual into a sound and effective citizen and,
·        to fully integrate an individual into a community  
But today, we’ve all transformed that into… acquiring certificates. People in school these days all fight to get a good grade just so their results would be okay and hence get a good job, its so bad that this extends to even the junior secondary schools…these little children of 12 to 15 years go up to the extent of paying for ‘expo’ during examinations just so they could pass. So where is the problem coming from? Is it the teachers, The parents, The Government, Or the system of education in general…Some of my lecturers use to say, with the equivalence of a primary school certificate back then, you could either become a teacher, get a good job or open up a business. But these days we have graduates from tertiary institutions who cannot even defend their certificates or even speak correct English … like I said…pathetic.
What has changed between then and now? How come the same country with the same goals or even better ones is finding it difficult to achieve what it used to?...to be continued.

Friday 19 June 2015

How I was almost duped by fraudsters

Lmao I was almost duped today. I went to get a phone at Robinson Plaza for a friend. Having had lots of experiences with these dudes who accost you on the way and escort you to the store only to end up extorting lots of money from you in the name of installation, I was prepared for them. When they came towards me, I simply ignored them. One asked if I wanted to buy a phone or any other gadget, saying he knew the right store to take me to. Another said I shouldn't think he's trying to dupe me or anything, he said he's only offering to help so I wouldn't be cheated…yeah right.
Anyways, after a little search, I finally decided on the phone I wanted. While I was paying the seller, one of the guys who followed me to the store said when I'm done I should come with him so he'd help me do the warranty. Wow, I thought to myself, that's a new one. Usually the words they use were, I'll help you configure it, or I'll install some apps for you so you could enjoy your phone very well. This warranty was a new one and I simply smiled. As I handed the money over to the sales girl, she pinched my handed a little which was a warning not to go with the guy. I smiled my thanks and got out of the store. Outside, the guy said come on lemme take you to my store and lets do the warranty for you. My curiosity got the better part of me and I followed him.
At his store, he gave the new phone to his friend and they gave me a chair to sit. I quickly asked how much he's going to charge me. He tried avoiding the question by saying there was no fixed price. I insisted on him telling me the amount until he finally said 400-800 naira only.
I gave him back the phone and he connected it to his laptop. Copied my imei number and showed me a message that read…warranty successfully installed. He gave me back my phone and told me my money was 2500. I burst into laughter and told him what about the 400 naira he told me. He said how could he do that kind of job for a mere 400 naira, and asked if I knew how much they've just deducted from his account? Smiling I said how much. He hissed and said if I didn't want to pay I could go. Smiling I said okay, picked up my bag and started leaving. His friend chased me down and said I shouldn't leave. That if I did, he had the serial number of my phone and could do anything to it that would make the phone useless and I'd eventually come back to beg him. I looked at them and wondered if these guys actually thought I was that stupid…I walked back to the store and the other guy was like "who called you back? You would have left now and I would have seen how you would have used your phone' smiling, I brought out a thousand naira, gave it to him. He looked at me angrily and asked if I thought he was a beggar that I was giving him just 1k. and that's when my "serious face" face came on and I told him he couldn't do jack to my phone cos as soon as I walked out of here I was going to change the imei number as soon as I got a simcard and hence what he had would be useless. Shocked at what I said he tried covering up by saying I don't know what I'm talking about and if I wasn't scared I should go and then I would see what would happen to my phone next. I smiled again, walked to the next store, bought a glo simcard and changed the imei of my phone under three minutes while they all gaped at me…then I walked back to them removed my sunglasses, looked into each of their eyes and said, if you try anything funny to this phone, it would be the last time you'd step into this plaza alive, I've got your life serial number with me. I put my sunglasses back on like a boss and walked out of the store confidently praying deep within that none of the mean looking guys would try to stop me

Wednesday 17 June 2015

Meet the No. 1 female carpenter!

I think I've discovered my passion!!!  I think I'm going to go into carpentry...So last week the curtains in the sitting room at home was changed. Everyone hated the new one cos we couldn't see any difference between the old one and the new one. ..When my dad inspected them, he decided the method the guy used in hanging the curtains should be changed and the curtains should be shifted higher... And of course there's no one who would have to do that except me...
So this morning I got out my hammer (not mine anyway, but it sounds better that way), and got me some nails and got to work... now my ears hurt, my hands hurt I think I hit it a few times... But when I was done and I stepped back and took a good look at my work.... All the pain vanished. I was so proud of my achievement...
Sooo...I think I'm going into carpentry. Hence if you need anything done that has to do with nails, wood and hammer... you know who to call. I promise I won't charge much.

Friday 12 June 2015

I think I’m a zombie!!!

 Okay I don’t know how many of you have watched or is watching the movie “izombie”. Anyways it’s a movie about a girl who went to a party where she died and woke up as a zombie with an insatiable hunger for human brains. Every time she eats a dead person’s brain, she starts portraying some of the person’s characters. For example she ate the brain of a kleptomaniac and couldn’t stop herself from stealing things. I think I have something close to that.
No no no, I’m not saying I’ve been transformed to a zombie or that I eat brains. I’m just saying something close to that happens to me when I watch movies.
For example, when I watched “Greek” which is a movie about sorority teenagers and females who scream their surprise at any news they get. I started behaving like that. Although I was a teenager when I watched that movie, I started behaving like some American teenage girl who acts weird in a weird way.
When I watched “suits”, I started feeling like Harvey and always thought I could win any case handed to me. I even started court cases in my head on any issue I hear going on around me.
When I watched “blacklist”, I thought of myself as Raymond Reddington, you know with the cap and the way he talks with so much confidence and a little raise of his head. I thought of myself as a badass.
Don’t get me started on when I watched “alias”, I thought I could change my appearance and do deep undercover work. Even when I watch comedies, I transform into a funny character. Oh wait I’m naturally funny, ok I guess the movies enhances it a little. When I watched “The DUFF”, I thought about all the friends I’d had since I was born and wondered if I haven’t been a DUFF all my life…I’m gonna stop here I’m beginning to sound like a movie freak or an addict…or a zombie….

Thursday 11 June 2015

To Pst and Dns Richard Idama

He’s a pastor, she’s a deaconess. He’s a civil servant, she’s a nurse. He calls her dear/darling/mummy and she calls him dear/darling/daddy. He pastors a church and she “mama’s” it. He doesn’t eat snails and periwinkles, she doesn’t cook nor eat them because of him. They have four children together and brought them up in the fear of the Lord. Sometimes he comes up as being too strict to the children and she acts as a middleman between him and the children. They never argue nor quarrel, they might disagree but they usually arrive at a decision, all it takes is time. When he/she gives an advice the other doesn’t take, he/she learns lessons from whatever comes out of it and is sure never to repeat that mistake. Whenever he buys her something, she appreciates, whether the gift is fake or not, or he was cheated by the seller. They both realize that they cant rely on their own understanding and decisions are taken together. They both know when to keep silent when the topic at hand is affecting the other wrongly. After 27 years, they still eat on the same plate every evening and talk about their day. They still make each other laugh and know when the other wants to be left alone. They know how to settle things between them and not involve a third party and they never let anything or anyone come between them. Each one of them always grabs any available opportunity to show how proud they are of each other.
Hmm…their love is unending. I love you mum and dad!!! #World’sBestParents

Wednesday 10 June 2015

I don loyal finish!

This town is hooot!!! The once peaceful friendly quiet little villa is gone, and in its place…is the place where people are being plagued by armedrobbers, thieves and all whatnots. They come at night with guns to whichever unlucky lodge of their choice and leave with lots of valuables, sometimes physically harming the victims…
1)    No more going out at night
2)    No more taking my laptop to ICT department in the college close to my house for free wifi
3)    When someone calls me “Corper” in public, I loudly correct them that I’m just a student o
4)    when a bike man drops me in front of my house and charges me a bit more than the usual price, I don’t argue with him and claim rights, I pay; he could be one of them
5)    when I board a bike at night, I don’t allow him to take me straight home, I stop somewhere close to my house and walk the rest of the way home
6)    I greet every guy humbly, who says hi to me on the way; he could be one of them
Which is the reason why when I walked into a store to get biscuits this evening after church, and some guys called me “Corper”, I turned and gave a polite “Good evening” to all of them. When they asked me to join them at their table, I pretended I didn’t hear them and walked into the store. Coming back out, one of them called me loudly and accused me of ignoring them when they called the first time. Just as I was about to reply if they didn’t hear me greet, I looked closely at their faces, oh yeah, these could be part of ‘them’, and I quickly apologized that I didn’t hear them well. When they insisted I join them, I quickly showed them my headtie and told them I was off to church and was already late and escaped…
P.S I f any of my family member is reading this, all of the above is not true and its just from my imagination. This town is safe oo