Thursday 23 January 2020

Dear Loaders...

Nigerian government-owned parks will never cease to amaze me. The stress! The arguments that always seems to arise from nowhere, the rudeness and the most annoying part, the loaders…

I mean, where in the constitution is it written that you have to settle someone to carry your luggage into a vehicle when you have already paid for your fare?

They walk up to you with all boldness and say, ‘madam, money for your load?’

It makes me wonder, what exactly am I paying for? Is it the weight of my luggage on the bus? Did the bus complain to them that I did not hear? Or, is it the carrying of the luggage inside the bus? I brought the bag from my house, I can carry it inside the bus, thank you very much!

The worst part is the outrageous amount they call when they charge you for loading, ‘madam, that your bag na five thasand’ they would say, whereas, your fare is just 2500 naira!

At this point, it is your level of JJC that will save you from spending a lot of money. You could choose to pay 100 to 1,500, it all depends on how much you can either smile, beg, speak language or do gra gra.

I fell mugu once. I paid about 2000 naira for luggage alone, for a fare that cost me 3,200 naira. Well, on my part, I would say, that luggage was particularly massive and also, that was my one and only time I fell for that nonsense which will never happen again!

But then, I often wonder, what’s the rationale behind charging for loading luggage in a vehicle when traveling?

Tuesday 25 August 2015

Things we do when we are shy

We are all guilty of this, whether we chose to admit it or not, or we just do not notice it… Whenever we are in the presence of people who are our superiors, or people who make us feel shy, have a crush on or people who generally make us feel uncomfortable, there are some things we do… Sometimes it’s even over the phone, especially for us ladies and here are some I’ve noticed.
1.     Avoiding eye contact
2.     Playing with your nails (I do this a lot)
3.     Playing with a nearby object (this could be something as odd as a stapler, piece of paper or even a leaf, for those who still play love under the mango tree)
4.     Playing with your footwear (I saw a guy do this recently)
5.     Playing with a button or any part of your clothes
6.     Smiling sheepishly
7.     Scratching your eyes
8.     Biting of lips
9.     Playing with or scratching your hair
10.                         Cracking your knuckles
What else have you noticed???

Friday 14 August 2015

My vow

Awwww....this man is so annoying and frustrating. I'm in class having a lecture, at least that's what I thought I came here for. What this lecturer is doing is telling us stories of cultists whose spirit travel out of their bodies while they were asleep... Abeg wetin concern agbero with overload???
Some lecturers don't actually know how to teach. They just come to class, mention topics you're supposed to go learn yourself, scare you with how tough their exam questions will be and tell irrelevant stories....
So I'm making a vow to myself....
When I become a lecturer, my students are going to love me (at least I'm hoping no one would blog in my class, like I'm doing now). I'm going to try to impact knowledge in them, not just to pass exams but to apply such knowledge in day-to-day life.  So future students, watch out for moi!!!

Tuesday 11 August 2015

Two things involved...

Everytime I’m about to embark on a long journey, I always think of two things before I board the vehicle…
It’s either there are any cute male passengers or not? If there are none, I am safe
If there is, there are two things involved…
Did I dress cute or not? If I did, I am safe
If I didn’t, there are two things involved…
Is there any other cute girl in the vehicle or not? If there is none, I am safe
If there is, there are two things involved…
Is she going to sit next to him or far from him? If she sits far from him, I am safe
If she sits close to him, there are two things involved…
Does the cute guy acknowledge her presence or not? If he doesn’t, I am safe
If he does, then there are two things involved…
Does she also acknowledge his presence or not? If she doesn’t, I am safe
If she does…well the journey loses all its excitement and I focus on assessing every other person in the vehicle or pay attention to my phone acting like I don’t care….

Friday 7 August 2015

Impolite responses

I hate it when people clearly don't want to give you assistance, help or positive response and when they finally do, they make you feel bad about it or make you know they never wanted to do it in the first place... And I wonder, why not just say 'NO' and get it over with!
Almost everyone does this in one situation or the other.
For example in class today, a student was received a phone call and I think he was told his attention was needed elsewhere. He stood up, walked to the lecturer and quietly and politely told him he had to leave... The lecturer was quiet for sometime... And then said... 'well, if you feel that's more important than this class, you can go' seriously???  Why make him feel bad about it?
In another situation, a lecturer came to teach when time for classes was already over and just as we were complaining of being tired, he said 'well it's not by force, you can go. I'll still teach even if it's just two students left'
This second instance isn't really about a 'yes or no response'....But I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I just hate impolite responses so so much.

Ummm....I just reread this post and I think it's a little confusing and probably makes no sense. I guess it's either because I'm tired since I just finished from class, or probably cos I'm so tired after overfeeding myself this morning....
Okay I'm going to stop typing now and post this  .... 

Wednesday 5 August 2015

How I was chased by a COW!!!

Whenever I come across a herd of cows along the way, I always get scared that one of them would turn and start chasing me...well that finally happened.
I had left class and was on my way to make a photocopy of an handout when i suddenly heard a loud shout and heavy footsteps thumping behind me. I turned and there was this huge cow running towards me...I immediately threw my books in all directions and started running for my dear life. My whole life flashed before my eyes, people around me were screaming. I couldn't hear what they were saying and all I could think of was...Is this the end...Oh my! I ran as I have never done in my life. I could hear the cow coming closer and closer and closer... Suddenly, I felt this piercing pain in my chest and realised I couldn't run any longer...I stopped, decided to say my last prayers as I heard the cow's footsteps getting even closer. I fell on my knees and then suddenly....
P.S...this is the part where if you're under 18 you have to stop reading....
Suddenly...the cow raced past me and continued running on its own. At first, I didn't really notice as I felt I was already dead. Until, someone tapped me, I looked up thinking its probably an angel and I'm about to face judgement. When I looked up, it was the Mallam who owned the cow.
"Why you dy run?" he asked me. I stood up and looked around at the people staring at me. That was when I realised the cow was actually running onits own and was being chased by its owners...Silly silly me! I thought to myself and did a walk of shame back to where I had flung my books, praying I find them.

Another Accident!!!

  When people talk about having an accident and they are like...'before I knew what was happening, I was on the ground or I found myself in the hospital', I used to think...'wow, so it happens that fast?'. Well I got my answer last doesn't, at least that's not the way it happened to me.
I closed from church around 8 last night and the service was so wonderful that I found myself singing on top of the bike I boarded, I was so happy and blessed by the service and I knew nothing could steal my joy.
  During the closing prayer, the man handling the prayer asked us to pray for our journey back home from church. I remember praying that prayer with the mind of, 'its not like anything ever happens sef'. Well, I was wrong.
  When the bike I boarded got to my street, we had a collision with another bike coming towards us and before I knew it we were on the ground....nah scratch that, it happened slowly. I saw the other bike coming towards us leave his lane and crossed over to ours, I saw the collision, screamed 'Jesus' as we collided and fell to the floor. As soon as it happened, the two bike men immediately stood up and got into a heated argument about who was wrong or right. Seriously? I thought to myself, they didn't even thank God it wasn't worse or even check for injuries. Next thing I knew, they were about to start a fight. I didn't even know what they were saying since they were speaking their language. Next thing one of them started taking of his trousers! Umm...what's happening I thought to myself and I finally saw it was because he had sustained an injury on his knee. I wondered if I should just slip into the already forming crowd and go home which no one would obviously notice since they'd already forgotten about me. Just as I was about to do just that, someone came up to me and asked if I had any injuries. I looked up and it was my neighbour, I checked and that was when I  even noticed I had slight bruises and told him that it was nothing. That was when the others finally noticed my presence and told me to say what happened, which I did and made it sound as if no one was really at fault and that ended the heated argument and one of them asked me if I'd like to be taken to the hospital, I declined and said I was okay. My bikeman decided it was time to continue our journey, which we started but couldn't continue since his bike was damaged. I told him not to worry, that I'd walk the rest of the way home. He declined the money for the fare and I gladly walked back home singing....yeah nothing was gonna steal my joy.